Open Hearts and Crazy Workout Worship.

I don't even know where to begin with all that has happened this summer. It flew by, but at the same time, I felt like I was at camp for forever. With a week and a half of training followed by 8 and a half weeks of camp with the children being here, I became very tired and drained. The summer was filled with doubts, but hope, exhaustion, but strength through the Lord, heartbreak but peace knowing that God is working in the lives of my campers, and there was so much growth in my own life.

My doubts came so many times. I felt like I was a failure as a leader. I didn't feel like I was helping these campers learn anything about God. They seemed disinterested and I felt like it was my fault. As the weeks went on though, I saw myself growing. I turned to the Lord for help. Everything good that happened was because of the Holy Spirit working through me and my life. When I felt the Spirit working, I was hopeful. I have hope that in the future, I can be a capable leader in whatever situations come my way. I can be assertive in a Godly manner and allow the Lord to work in my life.

Exhaustion is an understatement when you are a counselor. With 10-12 girls a week for 24 hours a day, a lot will happen. I cleaned up pee on the floor at 3 AM, cleaned puke off the table at lunch, comforted girls scared during thunderstorms, and hugged girls who are hurting with everything that life is throwing their way. Patience is something that I definitely had to practice a lot this summer. For example, when my campers won't sleep and they keep talking until midnight, I still have to wake up at 7 AM and have enough energy to get through another day. It's taken a lot out of me this summer, but I wouldn't take back any moments of it. I have found that the times that I function best and do my best work are when I am relying on the Lord for strength. I have to, otherwise I fail because I am human.

Working with campers especially because I worked with 11-14 year olds mostly can be so heartbreaking. They have gone through so much at such a young age and it kills me on the inside. They have self-esteem issues-these beautiful girls feel worthless and ugly. There are so many family issues like divorce, abuse, constant fighting, I only wish that their lives could be easier. I know that suffering is a part of life and my prayer for all of these girls is that they will learn to trust God and rely on Him for strength and peace in their situations in life.

So why did I title this post what I did? Well, I will start with the 2nd part. Crazy Workout Worship. When we have our Bible hour with the campers, we jam out. Seriously, we sing praise and worship songs but we have fun doing it. With 3 songs each night, 2 of them are fast and upbeat and have crazy handmotions. Like "I Am Free" consisits of sprinting around my campers and dancing like a crazy person. "One Way" is even more insane with jumping the entire time and handmotions for practically every word. Then we sing 1 slow song. I love watching these young kids praise God lifting their hands in worship to Him. They surrender their lives to Him and it is beautiful.

The first part-Open Hearts-more has to do with my own personal life. As my freshman year ended, I really wanted to work on being more open with people about how I am feeling and what is going on in my life. It's something that I have struggled with my whole life for various reasons and I truly desired for people to know more about me. It is still hard, but through God's grace and love, I have found myself being more open with the people I trust. I was more honest, I dug deep in my heart to figure a lot of different situations out that I didn't really expect to have to think about this summer. It's still hard for me, like things like taking compliments and talking about how I am REALLY doing is still really difficult. But, I do know that I have grown. I'm working on it and that is what matters to me. I am so excited to go back to school and be more willing to share what's really going on in my life with my friends.

Random other things that happened this summer:
-Went tubing at Lake Gaston with 2 tubes going at once and jumped from one tube to the other while speeding around the lake. so epic.
-Saw Casting Crowns in concert at Busch Gardens
-played with nerf guns and played water polo in canoes on the pond at our lake
-accomplished my goals of climbing both sides of the indoor rock wall at camp and 2 of the sides at the outdoor wall (I also climbed the outdoor wall 3 times with campers baleying me. it was terrifying)
-skateboarded some. I can't do ramps, I hurt myself doing that....but I can go on flat ground really well!!
-I got lice. probably from the rock climbing helmets. gross.
-I got epically embarrased at Busch Gardens by my friends when a worker at the German place sang to me. and made me bow in front of everyone. and when I went to get water stopped mid song and asked where I was going and then had everyone say goodbye to me.

Here at the Ranch we become very close. I now have a twin, 2 sisters, a brother, cousins, etc. But more importantly, I have friends that I will cherish for a lifetime. Something about the people you hang out with at camps, you just become very close. And to all my friends at JMU, my huggy and cuddly side comes out during the summer so I'm gonna need some serious love when we get back to school so that I can function.