Loss of Music.

Alright, I just realized something. I had an epiphany.

In the fall, I auditioned for acappella here at JMU. I convinced myself that if I wasn't involved in music my life would be miserable. I was scared. Music was how I connected to God in the midst of my depression in high school. I was so scared that if I didn't have music, I would get depressed and be stuck there with no way out. I think God not having me involved in acappella was perfect. What I just realized is that without music, I have absolutely nothing distracting me from God. In high school I spent all my time doing school work, music, and sports. Here at college, I don't play a sport, work is obviously necessary (that's why were are here), and then I didn't make acappella. For me this was so scary. I was going to have free time for the first time in my life. What would I do with that time? Honestly, a majority of the time, I have used my free time to spend it with God and grow closer to Him whether in my own relationship with Him or through growth in my relationships with others that help me be closer to God. Seriously, if I had done music this year, I don't think I would feel this way even if it was a Christian acappella group. I was forced to love God because music was gone.

I am not saying that music is a bad thing-I will NEVER say that. You're reading the writings of a girl who has played piano since she was 4 and has been singing just as long. Music will always be a part of me. But, God has taught me a lot through taking music away. Not only the whole lesson of my undivided love for Him, but also I've learned a lot about pride this year. I never thought of myself as a prideful person until I came to college. It can be so easy to compare yourself to other people and I realized how much I really did that, especially in terms of music. People always told me how talented I was and all the other wonderful stuff like that. Everyone thought I was going to college for music or music education, I was doing neither. I was known for music; it was my identity. But now, I have something better than that. My identity is in Christ!! That is far greater than music or anything else that we put our trust in. Our identity should be solely in Christ.