I'm just kind of in one of those moods to say everything that I am feeling. After 2 days of having to stop thinking about some really important life stuff to focus on the two exams I had today, I can finally wrap my mind around what God's been showing me and telling me.
The past few weeks, there has been this constant idea of accountability and vulnerability. Seriously, it has come up EVERYWHERE. Discipleship team was where it first kind of came at me, then a conversation with my small group leader, followed by a note from my small group leader that had 2 Corinthians 3:18 on it. Oh and wait, I'm not done. It came up again at Discipleship when my friend encouraged me to be vulnerable, to show that I'm not perfect and to be real with others. Oh and then again.....senior night large group, some of the seniors encouraged us to be accountable in our relationships and to be vulnerable. If I tried to pretend that God wasn't speaking to me right now about this, I'd be lying to myself. It's really scary for me to be vulnerable. It's honestly never been a special talent of mine. I'm definitely very guarded in my relationships. I fear what people will think when they see my heart. Will they love me less? Will they think I am an awful person? It's really scary. But what I am realizing, is that it is SO worth it. Like I'm sitting here right now and I just want to tell someone EVERYTHING. like seriously. everything. every fear I've ever had. the doubts. the pain. I've never felt this way before. I'm allowing God's love and grace to fill my heart which is tearing down the walls inside of me. Thank you for finally allowing me to get it God and if anyone would like to know far more about me than you probably ever imagined possible, let me know! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment