Grateful. Blessed. Beautiful.

Wow. March. I honestly can't believe it is already here. It feels like just yesterday I graduated high school and went to Nicaragua and now I'm almost done with my freshman year of college.

Right now I am in Pensacola, FL. This place is my second home. I visited here pretty much every 6 months while growing up and I lived here for a few months as well. I know my way around the city. I know where I like to eat here and the changes that occur here seem normal to me. After these past 2 months of healing in my life, being here has been a little different. I feel like I am far more grateful to be here, to think about the incredible times that I shared in this house. My grandfather passed away my freshman year of high school and every time I came back to this house after that was so hard for me. I couldn't believe that he was gone and I didn't want to face that reality. Every time I was here on vacation, I honestly wasn't really here. Emmotionally that is. But something is different this time, something is more beautiful about being here now. I look around at all the pictures of me, my grandpa, and the rest of my family, and I am grateful. I am so blessed to have all the memories that I do have here. Even today, my grandma reminded me of how I used to play nurse with my grandpa and I would ask if he needed water and I would bandage his arm as if he were hurt......(I know that people say the games you play when you are little predict your future, but nursing is NOT my thing!!!!) I cherish these memories. I miss my grandpa but I now feel blessed by those memories. The memories don't make me sad anymore but help me to feel even more happy about the incredible people that I have had in my life.

I can't believe how important these past 2 months have been in my life. I've grown so much closer to God and I am far more willing to share my life with people. I'm not as scared to be vulnerable anymore which is something that I've always struggled with. I am healing. I had deep wounds, scars-from depression and people hurting me, but I am learning to forgive others and to forgive myself. I'm reminded today that God takes broken things and turns them into something beautiful.