Wow. Today was incredible. Seriously women's conference was awesome. God was saying so much to me today. The speaker Janell Rardon was amazing!!
The theme of the day was the divine invitation. God's call for us is simple: follow me. 2 Timothy 1:9 says He "called us to a holy life." Our calling isn't our vocation, our work, our future, all the things we spend so much time worrying about, it is about following God. 1 Thessalonians 4:7 says "For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life." Focus on the Caller, not the calling.
If we truly understand the love of God, we should long for non-believers to know God. We need to our our identity in Christ for our own salvation, but also so we can share with others.
Noise. Distractions. How much of our lives is spent thinking about boys, school work, classes, expectations, friends? We have to get rid of this static so we can hear God calling to us. "Hearing is when the sound reaches your ears. Listening is when it reaches your brain and your heart." Listening require us to really care. The definition shared with us for distractions said "confusion from a multiplicity of objects crowding the mind and calling the attention different ways." This reminded me of what my Psychology professor said last semester about ADD. She said that so many people have symptoms of ADD because they have too much on their minds. They don't take time to just still still and listen. It is so true! I rarely take a break. I'm always talking, listening to professors, on the move, but I never just sit with NO DISTRACTIONS and listen. That was one of the challenges she gave us-to devote maybe just 5 minutes to God with no computers, cell phones, and just listen to Him.
"There is no formula but there is God."
At the end, we were praying and Janell was saying things that maybe we needed to pray about and she said something along the lines of... "maybe you've been hurt by someone and you haven't forgiven them, which is really hurting you in the process." And it clicked. I have been hurt so many times by people who were supposed to be my friends and it has left emotional scars for me. I don't trust people because of it and I hate being vulnerable. I realized that I really haven't forgiven these people for hurting me, and ultimately, that is really hurting ME. And now I see it, I see the pain that I have put myself through because I believed the cruel things they said to me or I blamed myself for the way they are today in life which isn't following after God. I have blamed MYSELF for almost 6 years. I always felt like it was my fault when I saw them turn down a different path, one that is not glorifying to God and it breaks my heart. But the thing is, is that it's not my fault. Yes, I may have hurt them but ultimately, they are the one's that turned away from God. I have no control over their hearts. I thank God for speaking that to me today. I feel free from that burden. I don't have control over other peoples' hearts; the heart is a place for God to work in.
I am so glad that I spent my Saturday at women's conference. God continues to amaze me in how He is working in my life.
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